this is a BIT of reading so don't post your "too long did not read" or whatever bullshit. If you don't wanna read, back out now.
she's on my mind from the moment i wake up until the moment i fall asleep, and even sometimes in my dreams (frequently.. twice or more a week.)
every time i'm out and i smell someone wearing victoria's secret amber romance, or vic's very sexy, or armani diamonds for her, i ALWAYS ALWAYS think of her. I had a waitress the other night at hooters when I was out with the boys, and she was gorgeous.. but I smelled what she was wearing and it drove me INSANEEEEE. Whenever I'm with her, I always hold her hand or have my arm around her.. when I talk to my friends, 9 out of 10 times I find myself talking about her. When I do talk about her my friends say my face lights up like it's never been before.
She put a picture of her as my desktop backround up about two months ago.. The other day when she told me "I'm giving up and moving on" it broke my heart. I had to change my desktop so I wouldn't cry like a madman when I was at the computer posting here about it even worse.
She put her as the backround on my cell phone as well.. I changed the cell phone back this morning when she was over. I told her "no other picture makes me that happy when I look at it. I love you like crazy"
She told me
"I haven't moved on one bit. I'm still crazy about you but I don't know if I'm in love with you. I definitely love you but you've really pushed me away lately."
back story..
we began going out january 13th .. I left her very very late in may.. Things weren't going so well, mostly because I wasn't too intelligent about it and I left before I realized we could've worked it out. I went on dates with other girls because I st ill liked her but I wanted to see how I felt after.. and my feelings only got stronger. When I went to florida from 13th to 17th of june, I realized I wanted her.. and only her.
I came home and that night, I gave her this jewelry box I'd bought in florida, filled with sea shells.. and inside, three scraps of paper.
"will you"
"go out"
"with me"
Gave her the box, told her to open it and put em together. Intrigued, she didnt know, but did it.. and said "no, I can't." A few weeks later, I ask her back out and she says yes. I leave less than 48 hours later because I was scared it wouldn't work. Fast forward to about 4 weeks ago in late october. I asked her to be with me again, she said yes. Five days later, she says " we can't do this. It won't work. "
We're both super wishy washy about it.. but when we're together, we're inseperable. I'm crazzzyyyy about her.
am i in love ?
BTW, the reference to florida.. when I was watching the sunrise on June 15th? i think it was? I took this pic.. and all I could think of was her. I also took a picture of it with my cell phone and sent it to her cell phone. It was around 6:15 in the morning or so back at home in ILLINOIS.. she told me that's the prettiest thing she ever saw.. I told her "you have NO Idea how bad I want you here with me.. it's breathtaking.. I've never had my breath taken by something ebfore this but it's so beautiful."
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non shifting motherf-cker